Slipshod Attitude

I sidled into church this morning. Not the first church I’d attended today. I was at the Pres church at 9 for rehearsal and the service where I play music. Then I went over to the church where I am a member. I was excited. It was the first time they had church since the quarantine went into effect on March 19.

I went in, greeted by the gentlemen outside, and sat in a back pew. These are pews that line the very back of the church – by themselves – where parents might sit with squirmy kids and where many handicapped individuals also sit because it’s more convenient…
No one was around me. A woman sat in a pew about six feet in front of me (in the last real pew). So I settled in to listen to the sermon already going on.

Good stuff. I’m immersed in listening to the pastor when I notice one of the two greeters has come in and is talking to me. I have a hard time understanding him because he has a mask on and because he’s trying not to disturb anyone else.

It seems that my seat is not sanctioned for public seating. I was supposed to sit in a pew with a green stripe down the back. Huh? I can’t even see the green stripes because of my failing eyesight. I’m amazed that I even made it to a proper seat in the dim light.

He motions to another pew about 20 more feet away.

I am not quite enough into the sermon to be the gracious Christian that I know I should be, so I don’t respond in the best way. I point out that I am as far away from others as I am supposed to be. He responds by telling me the green is where I am supposed to be. And starts telling me about the rules. I point out that I actually typed all the rules out for the newspaper and am quite familiar with each and every one of them. I keep from mentioning that green stripes are not part of the deal and since they apparently are here, that someone could have told me.

I don’t know why, but I am exhausted. Being partially blind these days stakes an enormous toll on me both emotionally and physically. I am not welcoming having to get up and move. I think back to both of these guys seeing I am parked in a handicapped spot for a reason. I’m handicapped with an attitude to match my physical problems today, and sadly, I am not in a great mood. I don’t feel like having to get up and move. For no real reason other than some guy was told to enforce the rules.

I sit there with (I’m sure) a stony/grouchy expression. He says nevermind, it’s okay. Except it’s not. I know darned well he is going to go back into the foyer and discuss what they should do about me or anyone else who is non-compliant.

I can’t just sit there and behave. I am way too emotional these days. Frustration, fear (yet, to be honest, I don’t really want to be blind), and just angst. If I get up, I say to myself, it’s going to be to leave. Almost on their own, my legs straighten and next thing I know, me and my mask are leaving. I bite my tongue wanting to say something snarky when I past the two guys. Actually, I may have something. I don’t remember.

Then, I just drove home. God can just talk to me here. I’m still tired, frustrated and afraid. And now I’m sad too, because that wasn’t my best moment. But I was just so danged disappointed.

The sermon was talking about praying for each other and caring.
Prayer and Care. yup.


Published by Mary Blyth Jones

A free press is one of the most important factors in maintaining a civil and prosperous community. In an era where there is a plethora of information from a million random, (often questionable), sources, it is important to have at least one source that takes verification seriously. My goal is to present the news as it occurs, and based on facts. I make every effort to keep my own emotions and opinions separate from the news. Coalinga Press is a nonprofit endeavor. It was created as part of imaginarium: Institute of Fine Arts, a local 501 (c) (3) nonprofit. I teach music and art both online and in person. I am a proud grandmother of 8 amazing kiddos ranging in age from 16 - 0. I love traveling, playing the piano and guitar, kicking back at the ocean and being lazy.

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